How to give grace to yourself and others as a Christian woman. As Christmas approaches, time seems to speed up, and the demands in our lives increase. One of the most important things you can do is give yourself and others grace.
But sometimes it can be hard to do as our expectations mixed with others’ expectations can send us into a desperate fight to get things done.
So here is some tips on how to give grace to yourself and others.
The first thing to remember to give grace to yourself and others is to know,
You are good enough.
If you are like me, you can think of all the things you might need to change about yourself. But what if you shift, give yourself the grace you need, and acknowledge that you are good enough?
If we look at this verse in Genesis 1:27, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them.”
God doesn’t make mistakes, and God doesn’t think of us as not being good enough. So, if you have struggled like me, thinking, “I need to do better and be better, lose 10 pounds, get up earlier.”
All these thoughts swirl through my head and maybe yours too, but these can change and shift can happen. If you make the change.
So, what if you look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I love you; you are good enough.”
In modern-day research, the benefits of positive affirmations and healthy self-talk. Here is an article talking about it from Psychology today.
I think more and more research is coming out that reflects what is written in the Bible: that we are loved, created in God’s image, and masterpieces.
Giving yourself grace.
I believe, if you give yourself grace you will inevitably give grace to others.
I also think resilience and grace go hand in hand.
A few years ago someone asked me to do a consultation with them to start a homeless program at their church. I agreed even though I was pretty busy and had to drive an hour to get to the meeting.
I was at the church coffee shop and I had been waiting for over 30 mins. I tried calling and they didn’t answer the phone. Finally, someone from the staff recognized me and asked if I was waiting. I said yes, and asked who I was waiting for, they talked to some other staff members, and I got a hold of the woman.
More time went by and my phone rang. I am not going to lie, I was pretty unhappy.
But, I had been reading about grace. She said she was sorry and just forgot. Now she was about to have another meeting and couldn’t make it. I said “it’s alright, everyone forgets sometimes. It’s not a problem.”
I chose to give grace, and not the get in my and say “bless your heart” which is the southern way of saying something bad.I chose to give her grace.
Give others grace
Giving yourself grace when you know you have failed. Helps you to give grace to others when they have made a mistakes.
For some, giving grace to others is easy, but giving grace to themselves is difficult and almost impossible. Here are some questions to ask yourself,
Think back to the last time you made a mistake or felt like you did?
- What went on in your mind?
- Did you put yourself down?
- Did you feel as if you are a complete failure?
- Or recognize that it was just a mistake?
- In general, do you feel like you need to be perfect to be happy?
If you relate to some of these questions and answer yes, then answer this question:
What would it look like if you gave yourself grace?
The next way to give grace to yourself is.
Be resilient
Grace and resilience need to be paired together.
In life problems and challenges will come. And it is how we face these challenges that will help us move forward or keep us stuck.
Think about any moments in your life where you feel like you failed or someone failed you then what would it be like if you gave grace.
I want to be clear that grace doesn’t mean accepting abusive behavior.
If you have been in an abusive relationship and you still feel the guilt and shame associated with that relationship, or maybe you were very immature in a past relationship and are embarrassed.
Giving grace would look like forgiving yourself for being in the relationship in the first place.
Give yourself grace for the past.
If you were the immature one, then face the bad behavior and change.
It is possible to change, actually we are changing all the time.
Everything about us changes daily, it’s called aging so don’t let your attitude and emotions stay in the same.
Change them, become a grace giver, and start with yourself.
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