Five tips to making it through the holidays without fighting. Holidays are when families come together to eat, play games, bond, and see each other after weeks or months apart.
It sounds like a scene from “Sound of Music,” where everyone enjoys singing and knows the words to the song.
Well, this is not my family. In my family, we could vote for the same person and still get in a fight about why we voted for them. No Joke. Fighting during the holidays or arguing over anything has been a holiday tradition.
I’m pretty sure drama and conflict are part of our family DNA.
If this sounds familiar to you, these five steps are for you.
But as Christian women who love God and want peace, we have to be smart in our conversations. I like to remember this verse.
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Our words make a difference, like our choices; that is why the first step to making it through the holidays without fighting is,
Don’t engage with instigators.
These are the ones that play devil’s advocate and jump on the opposite side just to start and instigate a fight.
They live in conflict, and when they get a whiff of it, they want to pour fuel on the fire. They jump on it like a lion on an injured deer.
Their only option is going to be the opposite of the person they hope to drag into the fight.
These people breed conflict and not resolution.
Don’t let them suck you into the black hole of holiday conflict.
Stay alert and know you can resist, I believe in you. Just remember the verse above and let your words give life.
This leads me to the next tip to stay out of conflict during the holidays,
Have a game plan.
When things start to get tense and conversation starts to get heated, have a game plan.
Literally, take a game to play and see if people want to play it.
Choose your game wisely if you are from a competitive and opinionated family.
Scattergorries have been banned from our family holiday parties. A good choice is Dominoes; there are clear rules, and there is no need for discussion. Games can change the focus and help you do something fun.
After that make sure you,
Don’t bring up conflict starters
Take politics, which is a hot topic in an election year. The chances of every person in your extended family voting the same way are extremely rare and unlikely. And it’s important not to make people feel like they’re stupid, horrible, racist if they voted for someone other than
I do want to say that I believe we should have open conversations about politics and those we elect but maybe the only time you see your Great Great Aunt Betty, should not be marred with conflict.
There are healthy times and places for heated conversations. But knowing when, where and with who are important.
Have some conversation starters.
God chose you to be a part of the family you were born in so their are reasons and purposes for you to be their. It might be an example of resilience, it could be for some other reasons. But they are part of your family.
So, ask them some questions about their upbringing. What was their favorite holiday member? Or how did they meet their spouse?
Here are some conversation starters from Goalcast.
The next thing you can do to make it through the holidays without fighting is to,
Give a compliment
Find something to compliment about your people. Give those a compliment that might be hostel in your family. Think of something.
Shifting your way of thinking about the person you have a conflict with could literally help your holiday.
I heard at a conference “be a learner and not a critic” by Andy Standley. Just observe what is happening and look for something good.
These are just a few tips to make it through the holidays without fighting but you are the one to make your choice.
I also try to remember “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” is a quote by Dr. Maya Angelo.
Just a quick recap
- Don’t engage with instigators
- Have a game ready
- Don’t bring up conflict starters
- Have conversation starters
- Give a compliment
Hope these tips help you navigate the holidays with peace. I would love to hear from you any tips you have about how to make it through the holidays without fighting. Here are some related articles to check out.
2 thoughts on “Tips to make it through the holidays without fighting”
Comments are closed.